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(This topic has been syndicated on the forums Here. There's some great discussion and several really funny posts so I recommend you take a look.)

Health and safety sucks balls

I was rushing to catch the train with my sister. Literally as the doors closed I put my toe in and just caught it. The doors opened. "Success" I thought. The train conductor said "We have to go", "Wait!" I replied. "My sister is coming." he looked pissed off and waited. She ran and got to the train. As she went to get in she THREW HER PHONE UNDER THE TRAIN.

She is so ditzy jesus.

"We have to go" said the conductor again
"Her phone is under the train
"We have to go NOW"

I have no idea why we had to go NOW but we did. So me and my sister got out. Waited for the train to leave and told the guy on the platform who had seen it all "The phone's on the line... can we get it?"

This was the conversation:
"Yeah. I'll just phone somebody." He got on his walkie talkie.
...
...
Five minutes pass
...
Me: "So... are the lines electric then?"
"Oh... No... we just need the right person to get it."

I'm standing on the platform. The station guy is standing. He is wearing station atire. The phone is right next to us. It would take 2 seconds to jump down, pick it up and jump back. The station is the last stop so a train could only come from one direction. I look into the distance. No train. I look back at the phone.

...

Five minutes pass

Exasperation.

"So who is this guy we're waiting for?"
"He's qualified."
"Yeah? What's his degree? Does he look to the right with pHD precision?"

The guy ignored me.

"Hey couldn't we just grab the phone huh?"
"No. Health and safety."
"oh..."

Eventually a man emerged out of the shadows. Wearing the same orange clothes as any other attendant. Fat. Balding and sloth like in his walk. He looked grubby like a pikey. He walked over. picked up the phone and handed it to us.

Our day could continue...